Dear Gen Z

• We see you.

• We hear you.

• Do we agree with you?

It seems that when it comes to Millennials, Gen Z is over it. In addition to skinny jeans and side parts, they are tired of their TikTok feeds being overrun by millennials simultaneously dancing to 90s music while bragging about not spilling their wine. Simply put, they are over Millennials and over #adulting. Haven’t we all been there?

Amanda (30-Something Millennial)

Gen Z has declared that skinny jeans and side parts aren’t cool. 😂 Oh wait, that emoji is under attack by the Zillenials, too.

I think everyone has a desire to keep up with a few trends. Maybe the Zillenials are on to something so I tried the middle part a few weeks ago and it’s not for me. My hair legit parts itself now; trying to change it up is the equivalent of growing out your bangs.

Jokes on these “kids,” I ditched jeans – in all forms – last March when the Pandemic started. Yet I do have some skinny jeans. And “mom” jeans. And bootcut crops. Why are they worried about the leg cut? I need us all to stay on the same page and keep the high-rise. My body can’t handle the extreme low-rise coming back. I come from a high school era where Britney Spears encouraged us to do 1000 sit-ups a day and to cut off the top of our jeans so there was no top button. I can’t go back to that. We can’t go back to that.

Everything that goes around comes around. But some things should get lost on their trip back…

Lindsay (Fabulous 40’s)

Let the fad and fashion shaming continue. Generation after generation, the elders are shamed for not being as hip, cool, awesome, lit, or whatever the adjective is this year. What our younger generations do not understand is most of their looks are not new at all. If I kept every pair of jeans I ever owned, I would have regular denim color (what’s that?), dark blue that turned my hands blue, acid washed, bleached, low rise, medium rise, high rise, straight leg, boot cut, skinny…you name it. In the 80s, no one knew where their hair was parted because their bangs were too high to tell.

Now us older folks could be more sophisticated and take the high road and stop our shaming, but what fun would that be? I’d like to turn around the shaming and point it at the Millennials and Gen Zers and, more specifically, the men. Men…. your pants should come in TWO lengths: top of your shoe and just above the knee. Capris and crops were originally designed for women and should stay that way. Playing sports in capris is a look for no man. Are you listening? NO MAN!!!! How about suits? A suit gives a man that 007 look, but now we have decided that men’s suit pants should be skinny and cropped. I cannot look at the handsome face of a man when I’m distracted by the visible hairy ankles. It’s like a train wreck. I want to look away and save myself, but I just can’t. If 007, over multiple ages, actors and decades, did not need their pants skinny and cropped, why does any man? Now let’s discuss skinny jeans for men. Men, either you are trying to show off how muscular your legs are, which looks awkward and quite honestly painful in skinny jeans, or you are showing off how skinny you are which makes me want to feed you a sandwich and burp you. In either case, or any other case you can dream up, skinny jeans for men are Eww! Just because it is a fad does not mean it is a good idea.

Now that I feel released of this burden to educate the world, I will squeeze into some skinny jeans, part my hair to the side, and watch some reality tv.

Karen (F’ing Fifties)

When I was the age that Gen Z is now, those same “Elder” Millennials were giving us Gen Xers remarkably similar, not-so-subtle, unsolicited advice as well. Except, instead of shaming us on social media, they had to do it in person, talk about #adulting.

If it weren’t for that next generation, I may not have graduated from my 80’s acid wash jeans or ginormous shoulder pads to my more refined, younger generation approved, ripped jeans and flannel shirts. There was no need for a “side-part vs. middle part” war, we had bangs and sky-high hair, there may have been a part in there somewhere, but good luck trying to find it!

Thankfully, I am now at that age where I can grab a cocktail, sit back, relax and watch all of the drama unfold before me without worrying about what anybody thinks. And that is exactly what I will be doing, right after I finish fighting the cowlick in my hair to see how I look with a middle-part and google pajama jeans to see if they come in a Gen-Z approved bell bottom. You know, #adulting.

Brook (60-Something Baby Boomer)

So the kids are fighting, hmmm? Honestly, this gladdens my heart as it takes the spotlight off my group who have had to endure “OK, Boomer” as our national pastime. Evidently, Millennials everywhere are under attack for their skinny jeans, avocado toast and the heartbreak of “adulting”. I’d insert the laugh/cry emoji right here but, as I understand it, your flagrant overuse has caused it to be cancelled. Take heart, Millennials! As you slouch into your 40’s, know that vindication is around the corner. Time marches on, kids, and you can bet your Starbucks that the Zoomers will get their turn in the box.

That’s right, Gen Z. You heard me. As we speak, your future critics are pulling up their Pull Ups in anticipation of ridiculing YOU! It will take a number of years, and sadly, I won’t be around to join in the laughter, but it WILL happen. I tried to research your social characteristics but got bored (OK, Boomer). Unlike previous, already ridiculed generations, the only overarching trait I could find was the almost eye-watering narcissism of your group, for which I fully blame your parents. Gird your loins, Zoomers, your time will come.

As Lindsay and Karen can attest, Gen X’ers cringe recollecting the alpine heights of their high school hairdos, making them look as if the governor’s pardon came in a minute after the switch was pulled.

My generation rocked jeans cut low enough to barely accommodate a zipper with yurt-sized bellbottoms that could house a family of four.

So what will they mock you for, Z’s? Since it is the job of each generation to critique their predecessors, I wouldn’t worry about it. Believe me, you won’t care. As we Boomers used to say: just keep on truckin’. By the way, WE invented straight hair/center part.

Were you steps (or even years) ahead of the current trends without even knowing it?

Did you provide fashion advice to your elders?

How did you react to critiques from the generation preceding you?

Let us know, we’d LOVE to hear about it!

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