As Seen On TV

*Were you an early adopter of the “Clap On, Clap Off” method of activating your interior lighting system by using a sound activated electrical switch long before the term “Smart Home” was a thing?
*Did your life become considerably easier once you realized you could cut through an aluminum can and then seamlessly slice a tomato without using two different knives?
*Do you scramble to “add to cart” upon hearing phrases such as “Act Now,” “We’ll Double the offer” or do you immediately fall victim to those famous four words:

There may be a reason those late-night infomercials are still alive and well and currently infiltrating their way into our lives via sponsored Facebook Ads, Insta Stories and Tik Tok videos and we are not immune. We are human, after all, and do find ourselves intrigued by those items that promise to make our lives easier, allow us to age in reverse or even get us back to our birth weight, all with free shipping! Did we succumb to the allure? Of course we did! We have tried these products so you don’t have to.

Amanda (30-Something Millennial)

I knew of my As Seen on TV product, but I didn’t actually purchase my own until I experienced the product first-hand and decided it was a game changer. What is it? The Illumibowl. This motion-activated night light fits on the rim of the toilet and lights up anytime a person approaches the bathroom in the dark.

Basic nightlights are boring. This illuminates where you need to go and is incredibly smart with the motion sensor. Plus, it’s a great conversation starter. Trust me, it’s a fun party trick to have your toilet bowl glowing blue when your guests walk in to do their business. Or green for St Patrick’s Day. Or Pink for Valentine’s Day. It is my go-to housewarming gift and was a hit during a White Elephant gift exchange. Let’s be honest, this year has been $h!t so might as well make it fun!

Brooke (60-Something Baby Boomer)

In the last year, I’ve taken up golf after a decades-long absence because I’m retired and that’s the law. In addition to exercise, fresh air and the comradery of other superannuated duffers, there are other benefits to “hitting the pill”; namely cute clothes and accessories, of which there is a seemingly inexhaustible supply. This topic gave me an excuse to drop $9.99 on Amazon and I am now the proud owner of a pair of Golf Ball Finder Glasses!

Both high-tech AND stylish (tortoise shell frames!), this seemed the perfect ASOTV product choice. The idea here is the super-scientific technology of blue lenses. These will cause your errant ball to stand out amidst the weeds like the Hope Diamond on a jeweler’s velvet tray. As someone whose golf ball budget is starting to exceed my greens fees, I was understandably excited to immerse myself in a cobalt-hued universe with nary a golf ball gone astray. Having a pretty decent round yesterday, it took me until #7 to knock one into the cabbage. I swear, I shanked it subconsciously just so I could whip out my space age eyewear and ferret out my otherwise invisible ball. So, did they work? Yeah – no. Sadly, instead of a white sphere buried on a nest of green, I saw a white sphere in a nest of blue.

Additionally, a weird vertiginous sensation overtook while climbing through the undergrowth. Within seconds, I was dizzy and ready to abandon my search for good. While they might have come in handy while waterboarding Al Quaedas at Gitmo, my new specs were not exactly paving my way to the LPGA. I should have gone with the Miracle Microwave Potato Cooker. I bet that thing works like a charm.

Lindsay (Fabulous 40’s)

I have been teased by my fellow blog members for ordering things I see on Instagram and Tik Tok. I am obsessed with two things….diet pills and eye creams. I may have tried them all. The diet pills (this will shock you….so PLEASE sit down) do not work. I know some of you are saying “duh”, but if I find one that works, you would be super excited right now! I promise if/when I do, I will tell the world because I am not “that” girl who hides her secrets.

The item I will talk about specifically is My Perfect Eyes. I have searched for an eye cream to reduce the bags and dark circles under my eyes. Sleeping more is not really an option (love bad tv and have a job), so I need a magic potion. This eye cream does work, sorta! It does reduce the puffiness in the bags under my eyes, but it does not rid me of the dark circles (help). It also only lasts for approximately 8-10 hours, so if you use it on a big night out, you will be like Cinderella. Your puffiness will reappear at the end of the evening, so set an alarm, unless you have friends like mine who by the end of the evening cannot see clearly anyway.

I could write about 12 other items in my home but I’ll spare you. What I would love to know is if any of you have found a beauty tip or trick that actually works. Do not be that guy or girl who wants to be the hottest and leave the rest of us searching, praying, and begging for solutions. Share with us!!!

Karen (F’ing Fifties)

It comes as no surprise to me that my fellow Gen X-er and I have both tested similar items, we are, unfortunately “at that age.”

My Item: DermaRPX Anti-Aging Cream

Their Claim: Quick Acting, 5-Minute Wrinkle and Fine Line remover

My Experience:

Step 1 & 2: Wash and dry skin and lightly pump no more than a teardrop amount on fingertip. Exactly how much is a teardrop? Is it a small but prominent “I have committed murder” prison tattoo teardrop or a Kim Kardashian full meltdown ugly cry teardrop? I decided something in the middle, ala Lauren Conrad’s slow-motion single-tear-down- the-cheek teardrop, was sufficient.

Step 3: Relax facial muscles and gently pat a thin layer on fine lines and wrinkles. Relax facial muscles? My facial muscles are already relaxed, in fact, it is the complete relaxation of my facial muscles that prompted me to choose this product to begin with.

Step 4: Avoid Facial Expressions to allow DermaRPX to set and dry. Um, what now? I was so eager to try this immediately, but I received this product bright and early on a Monday morning, which, for those of you now subjected to daily Zoom meetings, know that this is definitely not the right time to try this. Monday morning Zoom Meetings = ALOT of facial expressions! In fact, I am completely unable to participate in a virtual meeting without a plethora of facial expressions (or talk without using my hands), but we can discuss that another time. So, now I wait (but you don’t have to).

The Result: Meh. I did experience a cool, face-freezing effect immediately upon application and, true to their claim, it only lasted approximately 5 minutes. I didn’t have any expectations so I can’t say that I was disappointed and will most likely continue to use this, if only for the fun face-freezing sensation, until the bottle is gone. But rest assured, I will continue my fight against aging the old-fashioned way, by injecting needles full of botulinum into my forehead the way the good lord intended.

Have you invested in any of these must-have, life changing items?

Let us know, we’d LOVE to hear about it!

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13 thoughts on “As Seen On TV

  1. I tried the seaweed patch for guaranteed weight loss. I’m sure you can figure out how that worked.

  2. So – I have been totally educated here – I had never heard about the Illumibowl before today. I definitely can see this in my home – holidays only to avoid being tacky. I have only ever ordered one face cream on FB – the loss of that $50 was enough to stop me from doing again. As always – an enjoyable read.

    1. Our Millennial really came thru on this one! My holiday shopping is already done. I feel like Oprah: YOU get an Illumibowl and YOU get an illumibowl!

  3. As I have grown older, I find that my former teenage plucking has caused my eyebrows to thin, ok, basically they have disappeared. So I decided to try the 3 Second Eyebrow Stamp. I figured I had an extra 3 seconds in my day to try this. I followed the directions by dipping the sponges in the powder and applying to my brows. OH MY GOD! It looked like two caterpillars had taken up residence on my forehead! Now I can’t decide if I should leave them on and scare the neighborhood children, let nature runs its course and allow them to morph into butterflies and fly away or pick up some paint remover and start over.

    1. Oh no, that is hysterical! We vote for Option 2. And, if you wouldn’t mind, please film the various stages of metamorphosis, we would love to follow the progression!

    2. Pictures, please. 😉

  4. Oh my goodness ! I had not heard of the toilet bowl motion light. Thankyou ladies for enlightening me. 😂
    Well … being that good old Jeff is offering it for $12.49 I am thinking of surprising my husband with one. 😉

    1. It sounds like Jeff is one lucky man! Who knew this would be the gift we never knew we needed?

  5. Shake weight, anyone???

    1. I must say, I haven’t purchased this yet but the commercials certainly are, um, entertaining!

  6. Very funny and familiar. I am in the Bany Boomer category. Remember the thigh master? I got it thinking that I could use this while watching TV. Did I do so? Yes, but not for long. I realized it was more comfortable curling up on the couch. After that was the stationary bike. Same scenario. At least I could hang clothes on it!

    1. My Boomer thighs hear you, Sandra! My sister filled her basement with all these contraptions. Her husband called it the Fitness Museum. 😉

    2. I, too, have one of those fancy, expensive “clothes racks!” In fact, I believe I’m on my second one!

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