Quarantine Bucket (or F**k It) List

• Are you taking advantage of the “Shelter In Place” order to learn a new language, organize your sock drawer or brush up on your culinary skills?
• Do you prefer to utilize this time to create your next masterpiece or publish your first novel?
• Or, are you fully committed to perfecting your lounging technique like it’s an Olympic Sport?

BROOKE (60-SOMETHING BABY BOOMER)

MUSINGS, RUMINATIONS AND DEEP THOUGHTS WHILE ON LOCKDOWN

• Facebook has been very enlightening in these uncertain times. Found out what Disney princess I am (Jasmine), what hair color best suits my personality (ultra violet) and which famous woman I share a personality with (Paris Hilton, of course).
• I’m thinking of making face masks out of baby swiss slices and strawberry laces in case I get hungry.
• Also thinking of incorporating vials of wine into the masks – hands free! This could totally go viral. What if my virus vial goes viral!!
• I’ve been recreating famous movie scenes at home to pass the time. Today, I left myself a trail of Reese’s Pieces throughout the house to consume, ET-style. Tomorrow, the bathtub scene from Pretty Woman, except with wine.
• I’m working on creating a virus-impermeable plastic transport vehicle out of discarded Black Box wine bags.
• Narrowing down my must-have Amazon shopping list:
  • Inflatable sloth pool float – since this is now my spirit animal, it seems right.
  • Cheetos finger covers – utilitarian and dishwasher safe!
  • Bacon Strip Band Aids – fashion forward and – bacon.
  • Personalized Cardboard Cutouts – hey, it gets lonely on lockdown! Using my
  • Fantasy Dinner Party list from a previous blog, I can host dinner for 8 for a mere $629.65
  • Chicken Harness and Leash – as I said, it gets lonely. Maybe I need a pet.
  • Sit N Sip Refillable Wine Bag Chair – a bargain at $299, dontcha think

KAREN (F’ING FIFTIES)

When I first received the official “Shelter at Home” order, I chose to be super optimistic, to see the glass as half-full (or is it actually more optimistic to view it as “half-empty”)? Technically, if it is half empty, I can utilize all this extra free time to fill it up with more good stuff, right?   Well, after filling it up with a nice, full-bodied Cabernet, I wasted a good 37 minutes going down a “half-full vs. half-empty glass” analogy rabbit hole.  I am no more the wiser, maybe a little more buzzed and, more importantly, now wanting to do a deep dive on why it is called a “rabbit hole,” but I digress.

The next thing I did with my newfound optimism, was make a list of all the things that I wanted to accomplish during the upcoming free time that was heading my way.  So, where do I even start?   I went back to look thru all of the articles and videos and links I had previously saved on Facebook and LinkedIn and Pinterest and began to organize them by category.  I felt so alive and energetic and pumped up for all the new things I was going to learn and the books I was going to read, the online classes I was going to take and the recipes I was going to make.  I was especially re-intrigued (is that a word?) with all of the side hustles I could start, so where do I begin??

Fast forward three weeks (or is it five, who’s counting?) and here is what I’ve accomplished so far:

• Binge watched Tiger King
• Binge watched Love Is Blind
• Binge watched 90 Day Fiancé
• Started binge watching Billions (twice)
• Watched John Legend, Chris Martin, Keith Urban, Taylor Swift, The Rolling Stones and many others conduct live concerts from their living rooms
• Watched Elton John perform in his back yard (anybody else curious as to why his piano is just randomly sitting out in the grass)?  I would love to read his neighbors’ complaints on Nextdoor.com
• Watched Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, Andy Cohen, Kelly Ripa, Stephen Colbert and a host of others in the entertainment industry determine that “the show must go on” even if they have to *GASP* do their own hair and makeup!

Did I ever get around to any of the items on my list? Did I get the opportunity to learn something new?  I did.  Watching all of those celebrities broadcast from their homes, in front of their perfectly staged bookcases, taught me something really important.  I need a bookcase.  I learned that I need a bookcase with color coordinated books and strategically placed artifacts.  An Emmy or Grammy effortlessly tossed in wouldn’t hurt either.

Am I the only one that didn’t get the memo? I want to appear more smarter, too.  Here I thought I was being productive and staying “socially engaged” all the while I was just carelessly “Zooming” away with no regard to the kitchen counter or empty dog bed lurking in the background.  The Horror!  Guess I better add “Bookcase Decor” to my Quarantine “To-Do” list.

And, now that it appears that I have a few more weeks to tackle my ever-expanding list, I have to go back to my original question, where do I begin?  In other words, what should I watch next? I’m open to suggestions.

LINDSAY (FABULOUS 40’S)

I would love to tell you when “stay at home” orders were delivered that I began writing a “to do” list that would make Martha Stewart (in and out of her jail cell) and Nate Berkus proud, but I would be lying to you.  I immediately knew that, although I would not be traveling for business and would be home every evening, my work life would not deplete one iota.  So being a realist, who also loves to be home and relax, I chose to not pretend I wanted to be an over-achiever in life during this Spring Hibernation.  With little expectations placed on myself, failure would be impossible, and I managed to accomplish so much.

• I have binged a lot of TV, discovered Billions and could not get enough, and I am excited to see what else I can get sucked into.
• Started exercising regularly again.  Are you proud because you think I’m making health a priority?  Well that’s not it…….my ability to justify that during a national crisis Doritos, peanut butter M&Ms, carbs, and Sour Patch Kids are harmless to a waist line and more Quarantini consumption is necessary to support the silly play on words, have made regular exercise a must AND while I am on the treadmill I read.  Look at me getting healthy and feeding the brain all so I don’t have to expend more energy trying to find my will power.  Never can seem to remember where I put it.
• I have not worn pants with a waist. Glorious!
• I cleaned out half of a closet and have zero intention to make it to the second half.  See the 2nd half are the dreaded pants….NO! Trying them on and then hating myself is not useful during Quarantinepalooza.
• We have a Friday night virtual happy hour now.  Odd….I have many people who I do not see for months at a time, but now that the world says we cannot see each other, it is now critical to be seen “on the regular.”
• Discovered Tik Tok!  The first few weeks I was very much enjoying my time with Tik Tok.  Lots of dancing, funny jokes, some household tips and then it became a few sad break up stories, easy and icky recipes (great cookbook title), pimple popping (I’ll watch the actual show with professionals thank you) and all of these videos of people surprising their sig others by walking into a room naked.  Huh?  Don’t you do that on the regular if you live together just by a function of real life and needing to shower or change clothes?   Ladies does your man only see you do the bra removal, under your shirt, trick? Am I really expected to believe it led to a night of intimacy with fireworks and he made all of your bedroom dreams come true?  Let’s call it what it is…sad you have to try so hard.
• I am being economically responsible as I continue to fuel the economy with my on-line purchases which has not really changed at all for me because it was always “too much”.

It is hard to be antsy when being so productive.  So tell me readers…….are you proud of your accomplishments?  Are you embracing the true Quarantine you?

AMANDA (30-SOMETHING MILLENNIAL) 

At first staying home sounded like a dream. I wouldn’t have to travel for work and the nights and weekends would be free from any obligation. Seemed like the “staycation” we all longed for and no one would judge us.

Well first I had to go to the store to get snacks. Nothing like fighting my fellow Americans for toilet paper, bleach, pasta and frozen pizzas. And yes, I bought bananas to be healthy. They went bad. So, I’m one of “those” people that made banana bread and posted it to my Insta-story. Second, I’d ditch my bra and all pants with a waistband. Nothing restrictive is allowed in quarantine. No make-up either. Curling iron? Get outta here!  Then I had to decide what to binge on Netflix. First, Tiger King. Then Too Hot to Handle. All while keeping up with my typical rotation of 90 Day Fiancé and other Bravo reality shows. Next I’d scrub my apartment top to bottom. Re-Marie Kondo my drawers. Lastly I’d keep up on my social life. Zoom workouts! Zoom happy hour! All I wanna do is zoom, zoom, zoom!

Fast forward to 5 weeks later: I’m still living in my “pandemic pants” and haven’t worn a bra other than a sports bra. I’ve hung two pictures. Bleach is my friend. I still don’t like to cook. Once the world reopens a bit I’m going out to eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner and then posting up at a bar until last call. Zoom is cool and all but too many web meetings at work make me not want to use it at night with my friends. Thank goodness for Netflix. And cable. Every night I scroll to the end of Instagram and have added Tik Tok to my social media rotation. I’ve only read one book, but I just started another so ya know, I’m building a few brain cells. As face masks become fashion’s newest must-have I wonder if I need multiple ones to coordinate with my outfits. I’ve become more of a news junkie and might be a Cuomo-sexual.

I’m ready for re-entry soon. Even if we’ve got to adjust to a new normal, I can’t wait to hear what everyone else did during this time. And don’t worry, I won’t judge if you tell me nothing. 😉

Have you conquered your Quarantine To-Do List?

Have you taken a new course?  Learned a new language?

Or have you been maintaining your professional couch potato status?

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